You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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