no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
