K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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