So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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