I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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