they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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