Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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