last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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