I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
