Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
