if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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