i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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