i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
