??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
