When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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