just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
