I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize