Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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