Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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