aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
