So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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