Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
