I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize