David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
