She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
