just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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