Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
