Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
