We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
