We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
