yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
