well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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