Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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