This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
