Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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