I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
