She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
