my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
