i think i have herpe
just one?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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