I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
