Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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