And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
