1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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