I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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