What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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