Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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