what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
