wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
