You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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