The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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