Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
