im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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