When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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