It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
