I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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