How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
