Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Randomize
