i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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