I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
